By Tracy Clayton
So Kim and Kanye are pregnant. Before I proceed, let me make the following disclaimer: I am not a fan of Kim Kardashian or any member of the Kardashian clan. I find them annoying and uninteresting, and I blame the lot of America for providing them their pointless fame. That said, I’m kind of unsettled by some reactions to this whole impregnation. People are mad, but they really seem to be mad about the wrong things, in my opinion.
It seems that most people see the Kimye seed as physical proof of her ho-ness. Her ho-dom, if you will. “See? This proves it! She’s having another man’s baby, and she’s still married to someone else!” First of all, you’re giving her a lot of credit by believing that she’s even pregnant in the first place. I don’t think Kim is a ho, but that she is a fame whore is definitely indisputable. The woman orchestrated a marriage, for Pete’s sake. I’m gonna need more than a puffy belly and a sonogram before I believe she’s pregnant. Like I need to be in the delivery room watching it all go down. And if that kid doesn’t come out wearing a pair of vented sunglasses and a peplum leather onesie with a bottle of Courvoisier in its hand, that kid is not Kanye’s.
Second of all, having a kid by one man while she’s married to another doesn’t make her a ho. As far as I’m concerned, the only thing that makes someone a ho is someone else’s opinion. I realize I’m in the precious minority here, but Kim is an adult. As such, she possesses the capacity to govern herself and her body as she wishes. It’s her business. I’d take serious affront to somebody popping in my bedroom and judging me on the basis of who may or may not have been in my bed. The only difference here is that Kim’s decisions are made and displayed on camera for us all to see. I’m certain that somebody out there criticizing Kim has their fair share of notches on their belt and home movies on their shelves. But we can’t see them. When your dirt is safely tucked away, it makes it so much easier to talk about someone else’s.
Thirdly, if Kim’s a ho, what does that make Kanye? We’re all mad at Kim for getting pregnant by Kanye while still married, but I’ve heard little outrage over Kanye knocking up a married woman. I guess a man will be a man, right? It was Kim’s job to keep her legs closed, not Kanye’s job to stay out of there. Right? Right.
So no. Kim’s not a ho. Making a sex tape doesn’t make her a ho, having famous boyfriends doesn’t make her a ho, and having a baby out of wedlock while married to someone else doesn’t make her a ho. That doesn’t mean that I’m not bothered by it–it just means I don’t think she’s a ho because of it.
And plenty of people are bothered by it, for understandable reasons. Doesn’t being excited about the pregnancy kind of give tacit approval of the manner in which the pregnancy happened? Are we celebrating adultery?
America is so excited about this baby, tweeting congratulations, speculating on what the kid’s going to look like. And why shouldn’t they be? They’ve been excited about Kim’s exploits thus far. If people didn’t abandon her for orchestrating a marriage for the magazines, why would they turn their backs now? I don’t think America’s interest is celebrating adultery. It’s just … fodder. One more thing to tweet about.
My biggest problem with Kim’s whole married baby deal is this: In the face of a national struggle to secure the right of marriage for people who should already have it anyway, this is a slap in the face, a punch in the stomach, and a kick in the balls. People who want to marry for noble reasons, people who just want the chance to love and honor legally are denied. Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian got a marriage license, took a picture of it, wiped her behind with it, gave it the middle finger, and then got pregnant by someone else. This is the sacred institution that the gays will ruin if we give it to them? Really? If it weren’t for this glaring little injustice, I wouldn’t give two poots about this whole ordeal.
In conclusion, if you insist on caring about this woman, see if you can find a couple of damns for the people who can’t legally do something she did and obviously doesn’t care about.
[Photo: paintings / Shutterstock.com]