About a week ago, I came across a video titled “The Economics of Sex,” which attempts to explain why more and more couples are getting married later on in life — if at all. To sum it up, the maker of the video, The Austin Institute, essentially attributes the rise in premarital sex to the decline of marriage. The argument is predicated on the notion that too many women are “giving it away” so quickly that it has decimated the necessity of a lifetime commitment. Then, there is a clever incorporation of the supply-and-demand economic theory that is used to explain why men can continually chase sex without commitment. In the end, The Austin Institutes’ point is that if women engaged in far less premarital sex, men would have to court longer and harder because our natural urge for sex would enable us to acquiesce to our woman’s demand to be married. Besides the fact that this sounds horrifically Orwellian, the truth is that this video has missed the mark in many ways. Forget “The Economics of Sex,” I think the maker of the video should have taken more time to investigate “The Economy of Marriage” – which is what I will do right now.
First off, let’s get something completely clear: Throughout history, marriage has always been a step predicated off a culture’s conceptualization of preparedness. In modern Western Society, that step has become defined by one’s ability not only to love and protect, but to financially provide security. The prevalent reality of the world we live in today is that the step towards “having your shit together” is taking far longer than it ever has at any other time in recent history. This means marriage is getting delayed because economic realities are demanding more from singles and couples than ever before, and that strain is real economics that this video is missing.
But instead of me rambling on, let’s take a trip down history lane and examine how a young man (like I once was), would deal with marriage in 1964 versus the reality in 2014.
[Image: Shutterstock]
As a young, 18-year-old man in 1964, who has just graduated from high school, I now have a huge decision to make: Do I continue on to post-secondary schooling, or do I immediately pursue a job? See, I live in a time in which a high school diploma can still secure me a decent job, which can help me afford to have my own apartment and not be dependent on my parents. The manufacturing industry is on a rise and in 13 years it will reach a point in which it will represent 22 percent of all non-farm payrolls (it’s peak since 1960).
*Fast forward to 2014*
As an 18-year-old man who has just graduated from high school, the concept of choosing between post-secondary schooling and entering the workforce is foreign to me. I live in a society in which manufacturing represents less than 9 percent of all non-farm payrolls, which is a figure that is shrinking yearly due to the globalization of labor and technological innovation (among other factors). I have to go to college, which means I have to wait a little longer to entertain the idea of marriage, especially when dual income households have become a necessity for the average American family.
*But let’s get back to the 1960s for a second.*
Now, I am a young 22-year-old man in 1968 who has either just completed college, or invested four years into working in the labor force. If I decided to do the former, I will be entering the job field with a degree that gives me a leg up on my competition, and therefore a high possibility of earning an income that will allow me to be self-sufficient. But, if I decided to go the latter route, I can easily make today’s equivalent of $60,000 to $70,000, even as a minority.
*Now back to 2014*
As a 22-year-old man in 2014 who has little recourse other than attending a post-secondary institution, I now have a degree, which means far less than it once did. Recently, the AP reported that “more than half of America’s recent college graduates are either unemployed or working in a job that doesn’t require a bachelor’s degree.” Besides the fact that I now have to battle graduate unemployment, I have another big decision to make: Do I attempt to enter the workforce with ZERO experience, or do I continue on with my schooling? See, I’m facing something called “qualification inflation,” which means jobs are demanding that I am more educated than my competition and if we ALL have a bachelor’s degree, then that drives the degree’s value all the way down.
*But let’s get back to historical me.*
It’s now 1970 and I just turned 24, with either six years of solid work experience at one company (which was the norm back then), or I have two years of experience at the career I attained with my bachelor’s degree (something that only one out of five Americans between 25-29 had at the time). So now I’m economically ready to take that “step” towards love, marriage, and creating a family, if not emotionally and mentally too. I have disposable income, my own home, and maybe even some savings. Basically, if I fall in love, I can take some comfort in knowing that we can start a life together, and her added income will put us ahead of the game.
*Fast forward to 2014*
I’m 24, I just completed my master’s, and now I’m actively searching for a career. Unfortunately, the search for a quality career must also include the search for a job that I’m way too overqualified for, because I have student loans. See, I live in an era in which tuition has gone up 1,120 percent in the last 30 years, and it’s the ONLY debt that cannot be discharged in bankruptcy. I have to work to pay these loans back and become self-sufficient (if I live at home like many recent grads must do). I spend my days working a job I hate, in a field that has nothing to do with my degrees just to stay on top of my bills, while spending my nights looking for a real career OR working a second job. Now let’s talk about love, dating, marriage, and starting a family. If that doesn’t sound sexy to you, imagine how it sounds to the millions of people affected by this very same reality in a society in which the middle class has almost evaporated.
These are the economic realities of the world we live in today. It’s easy to say that if people have less sex, there will be more marriages, but to obfuscate the actual intended purpose of marriage is simply wrong. It’s NOT just about two loving people coming together – it’s about a contractually-binding agreement to create a life, hopefully on financially stable grounds. Finances account for 45 percent of divorce – not sex. Love doesn’t pay the bills, and hot sex on a platter is not keeping marriages together. If you want to see more marriages, stop pushing the tired-ass trope of the lazy millennial who is incapable of commitment to a spouse or hard work, and realize that most men AND women are simply looking to get their shit together before they walk down the aisle. This is unfortunately becoming harder and harder to do at a young age in our current society.
LAB
Lincoln Anthony Blades blogs daily on his site ThisIsYourConscience.com, he’s an author of the book “You’re Not A Victim, You’re A Volunteer” and a weekly contributor for UPTOWN Magazine. He can be reached via Twitter @lincolnablades and on Facebook at This Is Your Conscience.