On Tuesday, the Navy promoted Michelle Howard from vice admiral to admiral, making her the Navy’s first female four-star admiral. As a result of the promotion, Howard is also the new chief of naval operations.

Howard gave thanks with a tribute to service members at her promotion ceremony that was held at the Women in Military Service for American Memorial, at Arlington National Cemetery. She said that the “willingness to step up and contribute to a noble cause in your life is a sign of true selflessness.”

Howard is best known for commanding the strike force that coordinated the rescue of Capt. Richard Phillips when he was captured by Somali pirates. The 2013 film, Captain Phillips, based on the true story, starred Tom Hanks  and newcomer Barkhad Abdi. The movie was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Picture.

After graduating from the U.S. Naval Academy in 1982, Howard was the first Black woman to command a ship, Rushmore, in 1999.

Despite her historic accomplishments, skepticism has followed Howard. In 2013, a Navy report found that one of her peers told others that he believed Howard’s promotion to vice admiral was sped up because of her race and gender, and she “may not have had to cross as many hurdles in the same fashion to get where she was at.”

However, in an interview with the Navy Times, retired Rear Adm. Sonny Masso said, “Do I think she’s a token female, a token African-American, or anything like that? I would say absolutely and emphatically not.” He added, “[With] her performance and critical jobs across the spectrum … she has brought an extraordinary amount of experience that is equal to any of her peers.”

Larenz Tate returns to a TV screen near you with the premiere of BET‘s original movie Gun Hill. After its first unveiling two years ago, the two-hour drama premieres tonight at 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST.

Written and directed by Reggie Rock Bythewood (Get on the Bus, Biker Boyz, “A Different World”), this addictive thriller also features Emayatzy Corinealdi (Middle of Nowhere), Aisha Hinds (“Under the Dome,” “True Blood”), and veteran actress Phyllis Yvonne Stickney.

Tate plays identical twins, Bird and Trane, who stand on opposite sides of the law. When Trane, an undercover cop in a secret force, is murdered, his recently released convicted twin assumes his identity, seeking to avenge Trane’s death and find his killer.

Set in the unforgiving streets of New York, this smart, gritty two-hour movie event features an ensemble cast of characters operating on every side of the law, where no one is quite what they seem.

But come July 17, Larenz Tate fans will be able to get their fix on a weekly basis. Alongside Tom Ellis, Tate stars in the new USA scripted drama “Rush.” This new series provides an inside look into the world of renegade physician Dr. William P. Rush (Ellis), who is a “medical fixer” in Hollywood and caters to L.A.’s elite. But Dr. Rush has his own troubles. Tate takes on the role of Dr. Alex Thomas, Dr. Rush’s best friend since medical school and one of the few constants in his life. Dr. Alex on the other hand has everything Dr. Rush doesn’t — a high-profile position at a top L.A. hospital and a family.

I heard about the natural hair movement for the first time in 1996, but interestingly enough, the movement wasn’t an isolated group of men or women promoting a love of kinky hair. Instead, it was an aspect of Black Nationalism. The movement to love our natural hair wasn’t so much about style as it was about promoting the positivity of every Black feature that didn’t fit into the dominant culture’s standards of beauty. It was about embracing our fuller lips, loving our broad noses, adoring our brown skin, and admiring every nap on our heads, even though those features were largely undesirable in our society.

Since ’96, the natural hair movement has taken on a life of its own, having been embraced by Black women all over North America. It’s even a booming aspect of the hair industry, with blogger CurlyNikki being one of the largest players in the community. So when CurlyNikki featured white vlogger Sarah, whose YouTube channel WaterLily716 discusses curly hair and beauty, on her site to talk about her hair, I immediately felt a sharp pang of intense defeat and disgust at what I was witnessing. It’s NOT about preventing one woman of a different race from telling her story, it’s about a larger ongoing cultural issue being ignored to embrace the conceptualization of multicultural unity — a concept that is NEVER extended to Black folks in other groups’ sacred cultural spaces.

The word sacred might throw some folks off, but if you think that the Black struggle with natural hair acceptance is solely about being happy with who you are, and NOT about revolution, then you are highly uneducated with the struggles we dealt with in the past. Loving every inch of our Blackness has been an integral part of the battle fought by our most revered leaders. Loving every nuance, skin tone, and feature is central to understanding the importance of Malcolm, Martin and Angela’s fight. The revolutionary Marcus Garvey once famously said, “Don’t remove the kinks from your hair, remove them from your brain,” back in the early 20th century because the denial of our intrinsic selves has been a major concern since the Transatlantic Slave Trade. In fact, Kathleen Cleaver bests summarized why the Black power movement NEEDED to embrace natural hair.

When I say there’s no room for white people in the natural hair movement, I do not have malice or anger. It’s just a simple statement of FACT. Our kinks, our curls, our dreads, our naps, our Afros have not only presented extreme individual inner-conflict in us (which white people can NOT understand), but it has also created barriers which white folks have never, and will never, face. Afros, dreads, and even head wraps to contain our coils are called unkempt and actually have been deemed unprofessional in the work place, schools, and the U.S. Army. White people do NOT deal with these issues in the same context that we do, and to pretend that they do is nothing more than an ignorant-ass false equivalency.

Truthfully, I believe Sarah can provide some insight to women of all colors about her internal battle to accept her natural beauty, which is an issue people of all cultures and races can relate to, but framing her concerns as equivalent to what Black women deal with is utter bullshit. Several months ago, talented, natural hair writer Bee Quammie wrote an article for UPTOWN explaining the sentiment, “You have to be TWICE as good as them, to get HALF of what they have” and how we choose to embrace our hair actually has real-life consequences on our own climb through corporate and social ladders. If you think that Black women’s battle with their hair ends at their roots, then you have no clue about the modern day effects of colorism, self-hate, and racism that still exist in our community. There are many great forums for Black and white folks to come together, but the Black community has a lot of work to do amongst our OWN, before we start soliciting advice and assistance from other people OUTSIDE of our OWN sacred space.

LAB

Lincoln Anthony Blades blogs daily on his site ThisIsYourConscience.com, he’s an author of the book “You’re Not A Victim, You’re A Volunteer” and a weekly contributor for UPTOWN Magazine. He can be reached via Twitter @lincolnablades and on Facebook at This Is Your Conscience.

[Image: Shutterstock]

After the roughly 15-hour flight on South African Airways from JFK to Johannesburg’s O.R. Tambo International Airport, named for the one-time African National Congress president, The Maslow, a hotel in the Sandton area of Joburg, was a welcome respite. Nelson Mandela Square, anchored by a nearly 20-foot statue of its namesake, was the first stop. South Africans were out in force, eating, shopping and, at that time, mourning the loss of their beloved leader. Back at The Maslow, which is quite jazzy for a business hotel (think Vegas or Studio 54-esque), the Lacuna Bistro and Bar for drinks, dinner and more drinks was fantastic. Not wanting the night to end, my group and I popped into nearby nightspot News Cafe for more cocktails and checked out the scene.

After a night of spirited revelry, the visit to the Apartheid Museum the next morning sobered us all. Remember, it was only twenty years ago that apartheid ended. Just before entering the grounds, there is a Mandela panel showing his many faces and hailing him as “Comrade. Leader. Prisoner. Negotiator. Statesman.” but the museum reaches far deeper. Telling South Africa’s complex story is the aim and apartheid is at the crux of the compelling narrative. Visitors enter either through the Blankes (Whites) or Nie-Blankes (Non-Whites) side and are confronted with blow-ups of the pass books (identity cards) that black South Africans were forced to carry and show upon demand, as well as more signs clearly announcing the ideology that “The White man is the master in South Africa…”

Refreshingly, homage is paid to the Bushmen, the country’s first known people, but it’s the museum’s unflinching look at the horrors of apartheid that sets the tone. On permanent exhibit is one of the enormous tanks that rolled into townships to literally squash those who stood up for freedom. Stephen Biko, Albertina “Mama” Sisulu and other freedom fighters are also celebrated, as well as South Africa’s LGBT community. The Apartheid Museum is undoubtedly one of the top museums in the world.

After an emotional visit to Mandela’s home, where people of all walks came to pay their respects, we strolled through the Rosebank African Craft Market before returning to The Maslow’s Africology for indulgent spa treatments. Dinner at The Butcher Shop & Grill, back at Mandela Square, featuring a carnivore’s feast, including boerewors, the nation’s prized traditional sausage dish (meat-shy folks like me opted for tasty fish options, like the area’s beloved kingklip, or salads), closed out the Johannesburg stay.

Next, it was road trip time. After traveling roughly two hours to Sun City, the nation’s Las Vegas of sorts, the coach pulled into The Palace of the Lost City, the resort’s five-star gem and Indiana Jones definitely came to mind. To mellow out, we took on the on-site maze and were rewarded with a beer tasting at the new microbrewery. Africa is known the world over for its wildlife and Sun City delivers. Nearby Pilanesberg Game Reserve offers family-friendly safaris where the king of the jungle often makes an appearance. Bad weather disrupted an intended zip line course but (the preferred) in-room massages soothed the blow. The games at the arcade are big fun but for the legit high rollers the mega-casino is a must. Foodies will rejoice at Calabash (Sun City Hotel) and other property restos (Crystal Court’s buffet at Palace of the Lost City is surreal). With extreme sensory overload, it’s easy to see why Sun City has hosted superstar celebs like Oprah.

Continuing on this route of the African Sun leg of the journey, we hopped a flight to Cape Town, the nation’s cosmo cool city located in the Western Cape. The Table Bay Hotel in the heart of the posh Victoria & Alfred Waterfront, where Mandela himself was on hand when it opened in 1997 and Michael Jackson once rested his head, offered a pastry lesson with Chef Bhupender Kumar upon arrival. While dining at the elegant Constantia Glen, in Constantia, Cape Town’s beautiful wine country that night, I could spot the next day’s treat. Billed as “Our African Wonder,” Table Mountain, one of the newest seven natural wonders of the world, is virtually unrivaled. Ascending to the top by cable car is an experience in itself, although more adventurous types choose to hike it.

With divine views of Cape Town and the deep azure of the surrounding ocean, Table Mountain is perfect for nature walking and self-reflection. Pay a visit to Abaphumeleli Home of Safety—founded by Evelyn Makasi for a tough dose of reality. It serves orphans and abandoned children in rough Khayelitsha, which is located in the Cape Flats and is the country’s largest and fastest growing township.

Hip Victoria Road in Camps Bay—with a beach, trendy eateries and retail shops, is the city’s equivalent to South Beach. Back at the hotel, we enjoyed the fab opening of Table Bay’s Camissa Brasserie & Wine Room where spirits flowed and the local social set shined. The fun vibe continued at Orphanage Cocktail Emporium which specializes in innovative concoctions like the Jammy Dodger, with El Jimador, and Orphanage Mojito, with mandarininfused rum. Its truffle chips, french fries with white truffle oil, are alone worth a visit to the country. On Long Street, where party buses and spirited patrons easily brought Bourbon Street to mind, the celebration went into overdrive. So much so that making an early morning flight to Zambia was truly a struggle.

With its open land and less developed terrain in its former capital city Livingstone, Zambia is more of what outsiders who have been fed one image of the continent and have never visited expect. Reaching The Royal Livingstone Hotel was old world retro; it involved boarding a boat á la The African Queen. Wildlife greeted us upon arrival—zebras, giraffes and monkeys casually (and safely) roam the grounds. British in taste and sensibility, the hotel was sophisticated, comfy and fit for VIPs (guests even get their very own butler!) Former President Clinton is a recent visitor.

Still, it’s the mighty Victoria Falls, as the world knows it, that’s the main draw. Shared by Zimbabwe and Zambia, Mosi-oa-Tunya, as it is officially named, is about twice as high as Niagara Falls and is, in a word, majestic. At the private Livingstone Island, famous for its Devil’s Pool, which brings strong swimmers dangerously close to the edge of the falls, the views, as Blair Underwood and his family experienced during their trip, are even more stunning.

As delightful as the spa treatment overlooking the Zambezi River in the gazebo back at the hotel was, dinner onboard The Royal Livingstone Express train took the prize. Venturing to the Zimbabwe Zambia border was indeed an adventure but topping it off with five-star dining was truly a delight. The only thing that kinged that experience was microlighting (think a paragliding plane with just a pilot and you) over Mosi-oa-Tunya and taking in all its magnificence while high in the air.

By the time I cozily settled into business class on South African Airways for the long journey back to the U.S., I felt so blessed and humbled. Reflecting on the journey, even now, I still pinch myself. From South Africa to Zambia and back, the world has never felt more divine.

First Parents Barack and Michelle Obama may have a bigger problem than public policy on their hands in the near future, as their eldest daughter Malia Obama turns 16! Malia began celebrating her July 4th birthday early this week by taking a trip with friends to Disneyland. The soon-to-be 16 year old, also, landed her first job this summer as a production assistant on CBS’s new show “Extant,” which stars Halle Berry. The First Lady has revealed that she and Mr. President will spend this summer teaching Malia to drive. It’s official, the First Daughter is growing up and life is sweet!

Check out some memorable and fashionable moments of Malia from childhood through her time as First Daughter.

The Obamas were all smiles, even before Sasha was born

The Obamas and a 5-year-old Malia await the Senate results

Malia and dad embrace after he won the 2008 Presidential Election

Mommy and Malia share a dancing moment at the White House in 2009

Malia has a little fun in the sun

Malia walks with White House dog Bo to the annual Christmas Tree Lighting in 2011

Malia plays tennis with some classmates at her high school, Sidwell Friends, in Washington, D.C. in October 2012

As normal as any teen; Malia photo-bombs her parents at the 2013 Inauguration

Malia and dad attend a holiday event in December 2013

Malia, Sasha, and mom Michelle visit the Great Wall of China in 2014

Katt Williams has had to do a lot to defend his character after a series of unusual antics over the last couple of years. But he calls the claim that he brandished a gun at an L.A. hot-spot ludicrous.

Williams says that whoever called 911 on him Tuesday night is simply attempting to throw dirt on his name, as he insists that he never brandished a gun at the West Hollywood comedy club.

Katt told TMZ that he, in fact, was the victim.

It all began when Williams was allegedly verbally attacked and threatened by four gang bangers who repeatedly called him ‘cuz,” which is often associated with Crip gang slang

Williams says that things turned violent when he was followed to his car and assaulted by the men. He maintains that he never had a weapon in his possession the night of the incident.

Williams says that he believes that it was the gang bangers who called the cops on him. Hmm …

Nick Cannon hit “TMZ Live” on Wednesday to promote his new movie School Dance, starring Amber Rose and Katt Williams. During his interview, Cannon also divulged that he has met with director Lee Daniels (Precious, The Butler) about an upcoming project. That’s where it gets interesting.

Cannon posted an Instagram photo of himself beside comedy legend Richard Pryor, alluding to his starring in a Richard Pryor biopic. If the image is any indication, he has apparently been considering growing out his hair and taking up smoking.

According to TMZ, Cannon wouldn’t give up the goods and fully admit to playing the legend, but performed a hat trick as a sign that he will.

It will definitely be interesting to see how this pans out! And hopefully the producers were sure to receive the OK from Pryor’s family. We wouldn’t want any backlash like the upcoming biopics of Whitney Houston and Aaliyah.

See the full interview below.

The most festive time of the summer is upon us! Many are making plans to celebrate America’s birthday on July 4th by wearing patriotic looks that are exploding with style. Whether your plans include getting dressed up for a special dinner or wedding, or something more casual like a backyard BBQ – looking fabulous should be a part of that agenda.

Many celebrities demonstrate style independence in patriotic colors throughout the year. So, as you begin to plan looks for your holiday vacation, you should know that taking a bold, star-spangled approach to pulling together an outfit isn’t necessary. Instead, go the simple and chic route as inspired by this week’s Star Style looks.

Nicki Minaj is not here for the media pinning her against fellow femcees! She posted a Twitter rant Wednesday in regards to her BET Awards acceptance speech which received much praise for her unwillingness to filter her opinion on rappers who don’t write their own lyrics. The rapper made sure to tell the audience that if Nicki spit it, Nicki wrote it!

The seven tweet mini-essay dove into Nicki’s love for Lauryn Hill and Missy Elliott for being hip-hop pioneers and championing for the cause of womanism.  She explained:

The media puts words in my mouth all the time and this is no different. I will always take a stance on women writing b/c I believe in us!

— PillsNPotions (@NICKIMINAJ) July 2, 2014

I believe we’re smart enough to write down our own thoughts and perspective, just like the men do. I’ve been saying this for 5 YEARS

— PillsNPotions (@NICKIMINAJ) July 2, 2014

I fell in love with Lauryn Hill b/c I knew she was the author behind those amazingly profound and articulated songs on the MisEducation — PillsNPotions (@NICKIMINAJ) July 2, 2014

I wondered how Lauryn tapped into my brain and wrote an album on love, betrayal, passion, pain, triumph, brokenness…. Did she read minds? — PillsNPotions (@NICKIMINAJ) July 2, 2014

It’s the same reason I have a different level of respect for Missy. I know she’s a writer and a producer. Women MUST aspire for more.

— PillsNPotions (@NICKIMINAJ) July 2, 2014

I’ve congratulated Iggy on the success of Fancy, publicly. She should be very proud of that. All the women nominated should b proud.

— PillsNPotions (@NICKIMINAJ) July 2, 2014

That will never change my desire to motivate women to write. Our voices have to be heard. I hope I inspire up & coming females to do that. — PillsNPotions (@NICKIMINAJ) July 2, 2014

— PillsNPotions (@NICKIMINAJ) July 2, 2014

Don’t expect Nicki to remain mum! She is silencing instigators left and right! Meanwhile, Iggy had a few words of her own for those looking for controversy.

Usually I feel like the award is overlooked. I’m happy there was anticipation in regards to who’d get it & congrats to nicki for winning.

— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) July 2, 2014

Also, just wanna say I think it’s dope that there was even a debate & conversation about who would win “best female rapper” this year.

— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) July 2, 2014

This month marks my fifth year of living single and a realization of the five mistakes I made along the single girl highway. It’s amazing what you discover about yourself when you truly take the time to focus on self. As women we often have a need to please or be liked, and as little girls are often told to, “be nice” and we’re expected to always be kind, likeable, and to make others happy. At times we carry this with us on an unconscious level, and for me it led to making these five dating mistakes regularly in relationships. When researching and creating this list, I discovered through chats and blog comments, that these mistakes are commonalities most of us have, sadly:

Making excuses: If he wants you, you will know! When a man is interested in you, he shows you. Period. Stop making excuses for his absence or lack of attention. I work full-time, write for UPTOWNMagazine.com and my blog, and am filming a webseries I also wrote, but I still make time for someone when I am interested in them. Listen if President Obama can orchestrate date nights with the First Lady, then that guy you met at the bar, mall, or Barnes & Noble last week can make time for you. So let’s all agree to the following pledge: “I will no longer accept or perpetuate lame excuses. If you want me show me.”

[Image: Shutterstock]

Trying to change someone: Never and I mean never try to change someone to fit the mold of what you want or need them to be. If he is telling you from the jump that he does not want to get married, and you know that you do, do not think that you will change his mind about marriage. If he wants kids, and you know you don’t, then do not try to show him all the benefits of a child-free life to better suit your needs. People changing to please others is not a genuine change. You change to improve yourself or your own life, which will in turn make you more attractive to others. No trying to change him, either love him the way he is or walk away.

Expecting way too much: When you put all your hope and expectation into someone, then you are setting them up for failure. What I mean is when you meet someone and expect them to fulfill your every need you will invariably be let down. Living up to high expectations is something I have touched on in a previous post. There is no Prince — or Princess — Charming out there that will be this perfect mix of all the qualities that you want, and fulfill your every need. He will be flawed and you will argue, and he will act selfishly, and he will disappoint you in some way, but does that make him horrible or just human? So, stop expecting perfection.

[Image: Shutterstock]

Giving too much too soon: OK so you meet him, and you like him, think he’s amazing and everything you’ve always wanted in a person, and you sleep with him three days into dating. Cut to two weeks later and he is nowhere to be found. OK I know what you are thinking sleeping with someone early on is not necessarily a bad thing, and not all men just want you for sex. But what is wrong with getting to know someone before you sleep with them? (Note to men reading this: Don’t get me wrong not all women want you to be their boyfriend, guys, and sometimes we just want sex, so we will sleep with you and move on.) I am referring to the person that you really can see yourself being in a relationship with. Why not let yourself discover who they are as a person aside from sex so that when you do sleep together it means more then just reaching orgasm? So, if I foresee a future with you I want to know you as a person first, sex will naturally come later.

Listening to all your friends: We all go to our friends for advice and many of us — myself included — follow their advice. The problem with that is not everyone in your life is your true friend, and not all your friends are qualified to give you advice. Lets talk about the pseudo-friend … She is the one you mainly just party with, shop with, or occasionally talk with on the phone.

[Image: Shutterstock]

She has had nothing but a string of failed relationships in her life and is sleeping with a few different guys right now because they all give her “something different.” This is the girl who you just party with because she gets drunk, and acts a fool which means you can get drunk, and act a fool. You shop with her because she doesn’t talk you out of that huge and unnecessary credit card purchase you are about to make. You talk to her about all of your relationship drama because she never tells you what you’re doing is wrong, or that you need work on yourself. You know why she is all these things because she herself is miserable, she is sleeping with a few people out of insecurity, she is shopping while she does not have a job, and telling you everything you do is right, because those “right” actions are keeping you just as miserable as she is. I fell into this type of “friendship” with someone years ago, and I swear all she did was bring out all my insecurities and amplify them.

She constantly gave me advice and told me what I should be doing and who I should have in my life, and looking back I realize that she is angry, misguided, and insecure, which is exactly why when she decided she hated me I didn’t understand why. Then I had a huge wake-up call. She decided she hated me when I had just started a new job that I really wanted, she decided to hate me when I decided I did not want to party every weekend because after all you have to grow up sometime, and she decided to hate me when I decided to stop listening to every damn thing she said. If you have that one friend who is always shelling out advice when her own life is in shambles, take a step back and really look at from where her advice is coming.

[Image: Shutterstock]

Host Anthony Cumia of ‘The Opie & Anthony Show.’

Ranting on Twitter strikes again. Anthony Cumia, one half of Sirius XM’s comedy show, ‘The Opie & Anthony Show’ exploded on Twitter after he claims to have been assaulted by an African American woman in Times Square Tuesday. In his hate filled rant, he explained that was trying to take photos of New York City when the woman, who was in his frame, punched him in the face. The woman said she did not want to have her picture taken, according to Cumia.

“Then she punched me 5 more times. She’s lucky I was a white legal gun owner or she’d be dead. Then 5 blacks started giving me shit!” the 53-year-old host tweeted.

Cumia then went on an hours long tirade until early Wednesday morning, even posting photos of the woman that he took during the altercation, and resorted to name-calling. He also added that he hoped she gets shot.

“The switch to violence is immediate. No discussion, just violence. When will THAT be addressed? Oh, right, never. Slavery did it? Oh, ok,” he wrote.

Cumia said he wasn’t hurt by the woman’s punches and managed to pull a Floyd Mayweather and duck and block most of them.  He later said that the altercation ended with him walking away with “no cop around” to intervene.

He also claimed that it was “open season on white people … no recourse at all. Fight back and you’re a racist.”

The Opie & Anthony show began in 1995 and features Cumia and co-host Gregg “Opie” Hughes. The show has faced its own controversial battles since its inception and has bounced from carrier to carrier.

Sirius XM has not released a comment regarding Cumia’s incident.

By Tiffany Arnold

Reaching young professionals is something Patricia Washington knows a lot about. As the former vice president for cultural tourism in Philadelphia, she launched the social media campaign Philly360 and smartly appointed native sons The Roots as official brand ambassadors. Now, as president and CEO of the Alexandria Convention and Visitors Association, Washington has been working her magic on the 265-year-old waterfront Virginia city— across the river from the Obamas—to draw in coveted millennials and urban sophisticates.

“It was a lot of fun,” she says of the work she originally accomplished in Philly, where she was born. “We were leveraging pop culture to promote Philadelphia—especially the contemporary Philadelphia to younger audiences. We wanted that cool patina.” Their actions weren’t unprecedented. “We looked at what Atlanta had done, in terms of using the music business as a brand and as a magnet to draw younger people to the city,” she admits. “We wanted Philadelphia, which definitely had the strong music reputation, to have that same brand and notoriety.” The timing was impeccable.

“When we first partnered with The Roots, they were [ just beginning] Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. At the same time, they were developing a new festival called The Roots Picnic and there was a real opportunity for a mutually beneficial partnership.” She now wants to bring the same fervor to Alexandria. Founded in 1749, with a history steeped in tobacco and the slave trade—including a slave export shop owned by the men involved with the kidnapping of Solomon Northup, of 12 Years A Slave fame, Alexandria is long on history, but short on the cool factor.

Washington and her team discovered that romance was Alexandria’s secret weapon and the Commander-in-Chief has seconded that emotion. “President Obama has taken the First Lady here for anniversary dinners and birthday dinners,” Washington confirms. Amazon has ranked the D.C.-area gem No. 5 on its list of most romantic cities.

Rebranding the city overall as “Extraordinary Alexandria” in 2013, emphasizing its romance, history, art and foodie scenes, the waterfront and more, has been a grand slam for Washington, a Howard University alum, who returned to her second home in November 2012 for this big challenge. But how did a one-time theater major and former entertainment lawyer end up in cultural tourism? Two words: Sallie Mae.

“I needed to pay student loans back so I worked for a state senator for a while, got into philanthropy and then tourism, where I’ve stayed for the past 16 years.”

Championing Alexandria fuels her creative spirit. “It’s a very energizing job. You’re always learning something new. People are passionate here and they really care. That’s really inspiring.”

Photo credit: Lafayette Barnes

I am currently finishing up year two of being celibate. Yes … two years, you read that right. It’s the truth and, yeah, two years, OK! I did not deliberately choose celibacy; it chose me. To be perfectly honest, I would love to meet someone amazing enough to break this non-self-imposed celibate life! We have all made the mistake of equating sex with love, right? Think about it … How many stories have we listened to our girlfriends tell about that guy they went on a few dates with, slept with, and who eventually moon-walked away?

Sex is a huge factor in most relationships, and most times we end up having sex with people we are not in committed relationships with. While I am in no way passing judgment on those who do, I am explaining why that option isn’t for me. There is something to be said for two adults who actually take the time to get to know each other without the complications of sex clouding their judgment. Often (women especially) have sex with a man in the very early stages of dating, whether that be the first or third date. It’s not about making him wait, or testing him to see how patient he will be. It is about getting to know someone for who they truly are and deciding if this person is who you want to be in an exclusive relationship with. Also, if they are deserving of having such an important piece of your body, heart and soul. Being celibate has taught me more about myself in the past two years than ever before. These are the three major love lessons learned:

[Image: Shutterstock]

Lesson one: I am not willing to waste mine or someone else’s time. How many times have we all made this mistake? You meet someone you are not really that into, or you notice red flags about them, but choose to carry on dating. Then, you end up talking to or spending time with this person knowing that you have no intention of pursuing a relationship with them. Someone being nice to you does not make them the one for you. Someone wanting to sleep with you does not mean you have to let them.

Lesson two: I will never hide my sexual pleasure or displeasure out of worry for someone else’s ego. I have faked orgasms (who hasn’t). I have pretended to be into a sexual position that brought me no pleasure. Why? Out of fear that I would hurt his feelings. Fear that I’d b judged for speaking my mind. Fear that he would be upset. Fear that he would break-up with me. How many of us have felt this way at some point in our lives? Speaking up for what you want, guiding someone lovingly, communicating openly about what you like, and being completely honest about your needs are essential for a happy and pleasurable sex life with your partner.

Lesson three: I know what I want, but more importantly, I know what I need. I want to give my heart and love to someone. I want a guy who will take me on a date to Medieval Times. I want a guy who understands that I am really into ’90s R&B. I need a man who understands my heart. I need a man who will accept me for who I am, and I need a man that can communicate his wants and needs to me. I need a man that is loving and kind.

[Image: Shutterstock]

There are plenty of women and men who can separate emotion from sex, not get caught up in the rush of endorphins, and clouded judgments that make you believe he or she is the one, when in fact they are not. I am not one of those people. I dated someone a few months ago for about a month and he wanted to take things to the next level. I explained that I was not ready, as he was dating other people and felt sex was not safe, nor a good idea at the time. Cut to one week later when he disappeared and three weeks later he texts me with a pathetic excuse for his absence. Had I slept with him my heart would have been broken, and I would have blamed myself for his lack of integrity. Luckily he did not get that piece of my emotion, heart, and soul because I chose to not give it away too soon. Now into my thirties, I have finally figured out what I want and it’s not a fling, but a committed relationship. And until I truly get to know someone and vice versa, there are lots of diners that I will allow to sit at my table, but only that special one will have dessert.

[Image: Shutterstock]

By Kendra Howard

Circling her newly sprouted coffee trees, 15-year-old Kerima Abrahim intently looks for bright red seeds to add to her bunch. “Red means it’s ripe,” she explains, “I learned that in training.”

It’s April in the coffee farming village of Chaffee Jenette, Ethiopia, and its inhabitants are preparing their coffee harvest, which most rely on to survive, for sale. Each new tree directly affects the community’s chance at a better quality life.

Kerima wasn’t always a coffee farmer. She once spent her days walking and cooking; rarely did she attend school. Instead, she would wake early in the morning to begin a nearly four-hour trek, carrying one or two large, bright yellow jerrycans, one atop her head and the other in hand, through hilly, rocky, makeshift paths to reach the nearest water source. After filling her containers, she would begin the long hike back.

“This year, I have produced five quintals (500kg) of coffee beans,” Kerima says, as she bends down to pluck a few more coffee cherries from their branches.

“Before the training, I used to harvest a maximum of just three quintals (300kg) so I am grateful for the additional income I earn from my coffee,” she adds. The training to which she refers comes from The Abyssinian Fund, a brainchild of Harlem’s historic Abyssinian Baptist Church, which was founded in part by Ethiopian sea merchants in 1808 and takes its name from ancient Abyssinia (present-day Ethiopia).

During its 200th anniversary campaign: True to Our God, True to Our Native Land, launched in 2007, the church traveled to its ancestral homeland and emerged with a new commitment. Seizing the opportunity to reconnect the two worlds through coffee, which was discovered in Ethiopia, after that first visit, Abyssinian assistant minister Reverend Nicholas Richards founded the fund in May 2009.

“Americans consume more than $40 billion worth of coffee per year and a farmer in Chaffee Jenette survives on $10 per week. The Abyssinian Fund is closing that gap,” says Richards. In order for this small Ethiopian village to excel in the coffee business, Richards discovered that their farming techniques needed to be reevaluated and raised to match the standard of major coffee producers in Brazil and Chile. Guided by the expertise of several experienced field directors native to Chaffee Jenette, Richards dedicated the organization’s resources towards teaching farmers the necessary skills to generate an abundant crop.

In the inaugural 2010 class, Kerima and others learned how to choose optimal coffee seeds, properly water the plants and process the seeds using the “dry method,” widely used in Ethiopia; this gives the coffee its robust, sweet, berry-like taste. These skills are crucial because a more abundant crop can add a few extra days’ worth of food or even buy a family a donkey to help with transporting water. Like in the United States, coffee often brings people together. So Richards has farmers sign a contract promising that 10 percent of each coffee sale will go into water, education and health projects— the next phase in the Abyssinian Fund’s plans.

“This year we begin distributing Chaffee Jenette coffee,” Richards says. “With this step, we complete the full circle of development. The very thing that was once underutilized— coffee—will now be sold across America to support our farmers’ futures.” For more info or to donate, visit abyfund.org.

Police in Charlotte, N.C., believe they may have found the remains of a missing teacher and have charged her boyfriend with murder.

Police held a press conference Thursday morning to announce they may have found Bianca Tanner’s remains in a wooded area in Southwest Charlotte. Tanner’s boyfriend, Angelo Smith Jr. has been charged in her murder.

The search has been ongoing for Tanner since she was reported missing on June 8 by Smith. Police say phone and bank records have stopped and her car has not left the last place she was seen that day.

31 year old Tanner had just moved to Charlotte from Greensboro. She was working in Greensboro as a second grade teacher for Guilford County Schools.

Tanner has a 3-year-old son, who was with her in Charlotte the weekend she disappeared. The child is currently in the custody of his father outside of Charlotte. According to a police search warrant, Tanner’s son told investigators that Smith had struck Tanner with a belt and “hurt Mommy in the face.”

Smith also faces a delinquency of a minor charge. He was arrested last week in Chicago and extradited to Charlotte wearing his Kappa Alpha Psi paraphernalia on Monday. Smith bonded out of jail Wednesday evening.

A medical examiner will confirm the identity of the remains found.

Vandals defaced the campaign sign of a black Florida Republican candidate last week, painting her in whiteface, an obvious dig at her political stance.

In a heavily Democratic district, congress hopeful Glo Smith was the victim of vandalism and theft, as a number of her signs have also been stolen. This incident follows a string of biased occurrences against black Republicans in Florida.

The eight foot by four foot campaign sign was posted on private property. The face on the sign, displaying a smiling Smith in a fuschia suit jacket, was carefully colored in with white paint, leaving the eyes untouched for a creepy effect.

Smith is challenging long-sitting Democratic Congresswoman Corinne Brown in Florida’s Fifth Congressional District, where Democratic  registration is well above 60 percent. Brown easily defeated her Republican challenger in 2012 with more than 70 percent of the vote.

“We expect signs to be tampered with or stolen,” Smith said, “but not to this extent.” She has not reported the episode to police, but a tweet from the Smith campaign blew up over the weekend.

As the job rate surged in the month of June, the unemployment rate hits a six year low, the lowest since September 2008, according to the Labor Department.

The numbers are a welcomed relief after a surprisingly big slump at the start of the year, due to the long, dire winter season.

Non-farm jobs increased by 288,000 in the last month alone. Hourly earnings are also up by six cents. Employment has grown above a 200,000-jobs pace for five straight months for the first time since the technology boom in the late 1990s.

“It’s an extremely bullish report. It’s a report that really checks off all the positive boxes. I don’t think you could have asked for a stronger read,” said Jacob Oubina, senior U.S. economist at RBC Capital Markets in New York.

The economy has added an average of 231,000 jobs each month this year, the highest six month average since 2006.

A international scam artist was sentenced to eight years in prison for scamming millions from “crippled, old or poor” American pensioners.

Frank Onyeachonam, also known as “Fizzy”, financed his outlandish lifestyle full of luxury cars, champagne and designers clothes by convincing elderly victims they won a “life changing” lottery prize. In order to receive it, they must pay an “activation fee.” He would continue to ask for “modest sums” of money, that were wired back to the U.K. Authorities believe the scammer conned at least 400 victims, mainly from the U.S., from 2005-2012. He banked as much as $51 million in that period.

When police raided his luxury furnished apartment, notebooks containing the names, addresses, cash tallies and other personal details relating to 406 people were found. His crime was uncovered in a three year crime operation lead by the National Crime Agency with the help of the IRS in the U.S.

Onyeachonam was found guilty of conspiracy to defraud after a three week trial.

A jury of eight women and four men also found co-defendants Lawrencia Emenyonu, 38, and Bernard Armah, 51, both of Wood Green, north London, guilty of money laundering. All three denied the charges.

Emenyonu was jailed for 18 months while her partner Armah received an eight-month term.

Investigators believe Onyeachonam, a married father of two from Canning Town, London, was apart of a major scamming ring, originating from Nigeria. The ring hosts hundreds of perpetrators spanning across several countries.

The California Highway Patrol says it’s currently investigating a violent incident in which one of its officers was caught on tape repeatedly punching a pinned down woman on the side of a Los Angeles freeway.

According to authorities, the woman had been walking on Interstate 10 of downtown Los Angeles, endangering herself and passengers in traffic, and the officer was trying to restrain her. She had reportedly began walking off the freeway but returned when the confrontation occurred.

In the video, the woman can be seen pinned down and trying to sit up while the officer punches her in the face and head. An off-duty law enforcement officer eventually stepped in to help handcuff the woman.

“He agitated the situation more than helped it,” said David Diaz, a driver who recorded the incident and shared the video with several media outlets. He told The Associated Press the woman was walking off the freeway, but turned around only after the officer shouted something to her.

The unidentified officer has been placed on administrative leave while authorities investigate the matter. An incident report listed no injuries for the woman. She has refused to give her name and is undergoing psychiatric evaluation.

Check out the disturbing footage after the jump.

Photo courtesy of Luiz Felipe Castro/Getty Images

Russell Neal of the ’90s R&B singing group Hi-Five is in police custody in the stabbing death of his wife in Houston. Officers say the platinum-selling artist turned himself in Wednesday after admitting his wife was dead in their home.

Neal, 40, reportedly handed himself over to the Harris Country sheriff’s office, telling authorities he had gotten into an argument with wife and fitness model Catherine Martinez. He refused to answer any further questions.

Cops then forced their way into the couple’s west Houston apartment where they found Martinez, 24, unresponsive with multiple stab wounds. She was pronounced dead at the scene.

Court records show Neal remained in jail Friday on a $100,000 bond. The singer is facing murder charges and is scheduled to appear in court Monday.

Photo courtesy of Instagram

The group is best known for their platinum-selling debut album Hi-Five, which included the No. 1 hit “I Like The Way (The Kissing Game).” Bronx Most Wanted Entertainment released a statement saying Neal is a former member of Hi-Five and isn’t part of an upcoming recording project.