Relationships can become boring, monotonous, and well … not sexy. Relationships are in fact work and you need to constantly nourish and dedicate time to making it enjoyable for you and your partner. Sex is a big issue for most couples and over time can affect a relationship in many ways. Communication is fundamental, and often times discussing the lack of sex, your sexual needs and wants, or maintaining a healthy sex life can be troublesome for couples. Juggling busy lifestyle elements such as work, school, kids, and let’s not forget money woes can all take precedent over intimacy, and usually lead to arguments, added stress, and break-ups. There are many ways of expressing and feeling an intimate connection with your partner, and sex is one of them, so why not have a little fun while doing it?
Here are six ways to have bedroom fun …
[Image: Shutterstock]
1. Dancing
I know what you’re thinking, “Jonesie, I am not messing up my original hardwood floors by splashing water on myself while hanging onto a chair!” Listen, I am not telling you to re-enact this particular scene from Flashdance, but would your man really be mad if you did? When you throw on something sexy (or be a total sex goddess-vixen and go nude) and start dancing like you own the place — which you probably do, or maybe you rent like me, either way, you’re a goddess — he will be left speechless.
Well, let’s talk strategy then shall we. To put yourself in the right frame of mind I suggest practicing alone or take it up a notch and attend a dance class, which can also be fun! Grab a girlfriend or go it alone and let your inner sex goddess come through … I know she is in there. Put on that dress that makes you feel insanely sexy, or panty set that you paid way too much for, grab your man/woman by the hand, sit him/her down and give ‘em a show. Why not? Don’t worry about looking perfect, because you are gorgeous and honestly, honey, you being “on beat” is not the point of this exercise. It’s not about sliding up and down a pole and spinning on your head (although if you can do that, I for one would like lessons), it’s about exuding your sensuality in a fun and new way.
2. Blindfolds
Having five senses is pretty awesome. I mean we touch, feel, hear, taste, and see everything, which is fabulous when it comes to sex, right? Well, when you take one of those senses away, every other sense is heightened. Blindfolding your partner is crazy sexy. (Um … hello see the above pic of JLo, her abs, and that blindfold?!) Now do we all have rock-hard abs and a young tenderoni to put a blindfold on us? No. We don’t need six-pack abs and a youngin’ to experience this heightened state of awareness. All you need is a tie, scarf, or blindfold purchased from a store. Trust me when I say your partner will not object to this act at all.
Just in case your partner has any apprehension, you should talk about why they’re such a damn square and maybe you need to dump them. Alright, that was harsh. They’re not squares and you shouldn’t leave them. Talk about any misgivings your partner may have. Another way of easing any fear they may have is by talking them through everything you are doing while you’re doing it. Also, grab their hands and let them feel their way about you. Again, their four other senses are super sensitive right now and the sound of your voice, and being able to touch you without seeing you will literally drive them crazy.
3. Restraints
Grab a scarf, tie, rope. Easy, right? Wait, before you tie your partner up, have a discussion about boundaries. Just like with blindfolding, restraints can also make you or your partner nervous, as it means you are relinquishing control to someone. Restraints are often used to magnify the intensity of sensations you feel with your partner, which is seriously a win-win for everyone, am I right?
[Image: Shutterstock]
4. Watch & Learn
This can either mean watching adult videos, making a video of yourselves, or pleasuring yourself while your partner observes. Let’s tackle these options. Watching adult videos can be very helpful if you or your partner are interested in attempting moves you’ve heard of but may not know how to master just yet, and need a quick tutorial. Where this can be tricky is if there are moves your partner wants to try, but you are totally not into. We all know the men/women in these films are entertaining people, so we can’t expect our partners to perform like them, or automatically be “down for whatever.” Also, everyone is not into adult videos and that is OK because you have two other options, yo. Option two: Make a homemade video … Um … I need you all to pump your brakes right now and calm down, there is nothing wrong with making a video with your partner, but you MUST discuss, and literally create a list of rules. I am completely serious when I say that you need to protect yourself. Make a list, sign a contract, and do not use the Cloud to make it. Option three: Pleasing yourself while your partner watches is a great way of teaching them exactly what you need and like. And we all know that learning is fundamental.
[Image: Shutterstock]
5. Role Play
How sexy was Eartha Kitt as Catwoman? Who wouldn’t want to be her?! Role play is fun and sexy, and can lower your inhibitions, which will allow you to enjoy your night of fun with your partner even more. At first you may feel a bit silly dressed up on a Tuesday night, after work, in the middle of October, but think of all of the amazing fun you can have with this. You can fulfill your partner’s fantasies and vice versa not only through costume, but through taking on a totally different persona and running with it. Roleplay can also be taken out of the bedroom. Head over to a bar or restaurant, and “pick-up” your significant other. Listen, we all love a good fireman or nurse fantasy, so just roll with it!
6. Romance
Romance is not dead, so please do not go there. It is alive and something that must always be worked on in a relationship. Remember when you would text your significant other in the middle of the day, make them their favorite dinner, throw on that sexy lingerie, take showers together, light candles, massage each other? Or maybe you have literally never experienced the type of romance you deserve. It’s time to change that, dammit! Play some music, light some candles, run a bath, and put those cell phones away. Focus on each other. In relationships, this type of effort seems to fade, but is always expected. You cannot receive what you do not put out. Your man is not a mind reader and if you feel he is never romantic or doesn’t try, then stop for a moment and think about the last time you set up a romantic night/gesture for him. So, draw a bath, throw on something sexy, play some music, light some candles — and have fun. Thank me later.