Courtesy of The Frisky
It’s spring! The trees are blossoming! All six of them! Or maybe that’s just on my block. The several tufts of grass are violently green. I suddenly want to buy at least two pairs of gladiator sandals. Because suddenly one doesn’t feel like enough. And also, because it’s spring, weight-loss advice is blooming. It’s everywhere. Shed those extra pounds before summer! Be able to fit into those shorts! Get your bikini bod on! Or, you know, catchier slogans.
I am going to the Caribbean in a couple months. My dad won a trip at an auction, and he’s taking the family, significant others included. When I found out, my first thought was “Yay!” and my second thought was, “Shit.” The “shit” related to the fact that I have not put on a bikini in well over a year, and since then, I’ve gained about 15 pounds.
I figured I should immediately go on a diet. And then, by the time the trip rolls around, I’d be sleek and beach-ready. I figured I’d start tomorrow. And then tomorrow came, and I ate a bunch of pizza. And then the next day came, and I had a generous slice of cake for dessert, with friends. And so on. It quickly became clear that the diet was over before it’d begun. The way that it is for most people. Instead of dieting, I was feeling guilty for not dieting. That was the only change.
But when I gave it some thought, it occurred to me that I shouldn’t diet anyway. And you shouldn’t either. Unless you have a medical problem or something, in which case, disregard this because I don’t want to be responsible for the demise of your health. Here are eight very important reasons why. So pay close attention:
1. Dieting is boring. Food is delicious. And usually the kind of food you’re not supposed to eat when you’re on a diet is especially delicious. Like pizza and cake.
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[Woman eating hamburger image via Shutterstock]