I don’t have a Vine account, but every now and then I stumble across a short, 6-second video clip that makes me laugh my behind off. Last week, I saw a Vine that depicted the difference in reactions when women turn men down for sex and when men turn women down for sex. In the clip, the woman said she had a headache and the dude just sighed, rolled over, and went to sleep frustrated. However, when the man turned the woman down for sex, she immediately began aggressively interrogating him on why he wasn’t horny and then accused him of cheating. The scenario is funny on one hand because it speaks to a larger truth that is actually a serious problem in some relationships: The fact that so many women are unfamiliar with being turned down for sex by their men, that they truly don’t know what to think when it occurs. Obviously I’m not saying that all women who get turned down by their man automatically believe he’s cheating, but there’s definitely a large gap in how women understand a man’s sex drive.
Believe it or not ladies, even the horniest of men can almost completely lose their sex drives based on the stresses that are currently impacting their lives at the time. While things like being tired and feeling under the weather are very valid reasons as well, stress or depression is the reason most men start decreasing their sexual activity with their women. It’s just unfortunate that many of us don’t feel comfortable enough in dealing with those specific emotions to bring that truth to light. Obviously no one has a perfect life and problems will always persist, but when things get especially difficult to deal with mentally and emotionally, the desire to get it in with our girl can usually be the first thing that goes.
[Image: Shutterstock]
Ladies, when a man starts turning you down for sex or you notice there’s a rapid decline in his sexual desire, don’t jump to any conclusion about his loyalty to you or your sex appeal to him. That’s usually not what it’s all about. For many grown and mature men, our sex drives are intrinsically tied to our confidence and to our ability to provide for you. Once a man experiences something traumatic in his life that drastically shakes how he feels about himself, making love will lose some of its appeal because he feels broken. When proud men lose the ability to properly provide for their woman, sexual intimacy becomes an afterthought to solving their current crisis. So when you see your man lose his sexual attentiveness, it’s not time to start snooping through his iPhone 6 or buying him a bottle of Baba Roots. It’s time to sit down with him and have a difficult, but necessary conversation about his life.
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Lincoln Anthony Blades blogs daily on his site ThisIsYourConscience.com, he’s an author of the book “You’re Not A Victim, You’re A Volunteer” and a weekly contributor for UPTOWN Magazine. He can be reached via Twitter @lincolnablades and on Facebook at This Is Your Conscience.