Last year, I read an article about “Scandal” that made me sit down and rethink everything I thought I knew about women and relationships. It wasn’t about the show, the plot, nor Shonda Rhimes‘ writing ability, it was about Kerry Washington and Tony Goldwyn (President Fitzgerald Grant) and the writer’s belief that women are far more superficial than men. After “Scandal” fans, and new Fitz admirers, learned that Goldwyn’s wife was Jane Musky, people wondered aloud how in the hell could “fine-ass Fitz” wake up beside that every morning? Women went in on her lack of fashion-forwardness, her body build, and even her age, all to attempt to prove how unworthy Goldwyn’s wife of 30 years was, simply based on her physical features. The writer absolutely crushed those women, labeling them ignorant, superficial, and clueless. Now that Omari Hardwick and his wife Jennifer Pfautch are in the same situation, this point definitely bears repeating.
Omari Hardwick’s wife has show us what being “ugly” truly is, and it’s not her. It’s the idiots who go out of their way to shit on a woman who is guilty of doing nothing more than existing as a celebrity’s wife and being the mother of their child.
I refuse to sugarcoat this article with exculpatory bullshit like “maybe people aren’t used to interracial relationships yet” or “maybe we need to be more sensitive to what different people find attractive.” To HELL with that. We are all grown-ass adults who know better. The only reason we decided to knock his wife down a peg is because most of us are hypocritical, ignorant, bullying pieces of shit. We love to stand on sanctimonious grounds whenever a celebrity does wrong, but we feel we should be completely free to say whatever harmful, hurtful garbage that comes out of our mouths. This is Hardwick’s wife and the mother to his kids. Our collective inability to show her the basic, human respect is not simple trolling or joking, but instead is rooted in jealousy, ignorance, and superficiality.
What’s so disappointing about this is the fact that women have commandeered most of the negative conversation about Pfautch. Isn’t it cute how the same women who promote themselves as progressive feminists standing against body-shaming and judging women by traditional beauty standards have no problem with identifying another woman as “ugly” and join the peanut gallery to throw barbs at her? What part of the game is that? We have no reports of Pfautch being a terrible wife or mother, so what in the hell has she done to draw ire? Not being “beautiful” enough? You mean to tell me the same women who took issue with FOX’s superficial decision to replace the talented Pam Oliver with the younger Erin Andrews, are now touting the same shallow shit they claimed to despise? That’s truly pathetic.
The reason this touches such a serious nerve with me is because I really hate the concept of diminishing the woman a man chooses to love and marry. It is no easy decision for any man to decide that he loves a woman so much, he will be spending the rest of his life with her. It’s a decision that requires a lot of thought, but more importantly, it requires a lot of love. A love that is so deep and selfless that it truly cannot be comprehended by anyone outside of their union. See, when Hardwick, Goldwyn, or any other man who is deeply in love with the woman of his dreams was struggling, their love was there for them. When jobs weren’t available, money was low, and it felt like the world was collapsing around them, their love was there. The woman who birthed their child, made them a better man, and made them experience a love they never thought was possible. A woman who is above being judged on her breasts, her abs, or the contours of her face. It’s just a shame more women don’t understand that ugliness is less about how much makeup they wear, and more about how full of SHIT you are on the inside. So, by that measure, the comments about Omari Hardwick’s wife has show us what ugly really is — and it’s not her.
LAB
Lincoln Anthony Blades blogs daily on his site ThisIsYourConscience.com, he’s an author of the book “You’re Not A Victim, You’re A Volunteer” and a weekly contributor for UPTOWN Magazine. He can be reached via Twitter @lincolnablades and on Facebook at This Is Your Conscience.