Last week, the media rightfully focused on the horrific actions of Ray Rice, and the deplorable response of the NFL, specifically the league’s commissioner, Roger Goodell. Think piece, after think piece, after think piece were published about the NFL’s problem with domestic violence. The National Organization of Women (NOW) called for Goodell’s job. The Carolina Panthers and the San Francisco 49ers were both chastised for allowing players who were recently indicted on domestic abuse charges to play in their opening week games. And, in the middle of all of that, when most of us didn’t think it could get any worse, on Friday, Adrian Peterson was indicted on child abuse charges. I’m not sure if Goodell is a drinking man, but a week like that could lead anyone to Roger Sterling’s level of alcoholism.
Just yesterday, TMZ reported that Peterson was under investigation for another child abuse allegation, stemming from an incident that left another of Peterson’s sons with a cut on his forehead. The case went nowhere because it was discovered that the child hurt himself by accidentally hitting his own head on the car seat. After making Peterson sit on Sunday against the New England Patriots, the Vikings appeared to have made a strong move in disciplining their star running back — until they reinstated him Monday. But after absorbing a lot of backlash, the Vikings have decided to suspend Peterson again. This time until the court case has been resolved. Adrian Peterson’s suspension appears to be the right move, but the truth is that this situation, unlike the domestic abuse cases, is far different, and it isn’t the PR home run the Vikings may think it is.
One thing is unmistakable, the reason this story has legs is because it’s built off the back of momentary outrage at the NFL. #RayRice trended number one on Twitter and Facebook for the entire week, even amidst the United States going to war with ISIS. This child abuse story was a startling uppercut to a league stumbling around from continuous blows to the body — but that last punch doesn’t have as much force as many folks think it does, because they are clueless about how many Americans view whoopings and beatings as altruistic acts of improving child behavior. That previous sentence will anger many people, because they simply cannot connect how hitting a 4-year-old child with a stick and leaving him with cuts and bruises on his legs and scrotum could ever be considered an act of altruism, but for many communities that is a huge cultural staple in child development. And there’s such a huge gap between both sides that attempting to paint Peterson as evil will only obfuscate a very important issue.
Growing up, it was almost impossible for me to meet a Black kid around my age who had never been beat by their parents. My parents are West Indian, so when I hung around other West Indians, we understood that beatings were a regular thing. Some of my African friends had that experience too. That was simply our way of life and, in fact, it was much different in our day. Grandmothers, aunts, uncles, and even some neighbors were allowed to lay hands on our behinds if they caught us doing something we weren’t supposed to be doing. Being hit with everything from palms, to belts, to RC race car tracks was the norm. Hell, me and my friends still gather around to talk about how much or how bad we got beat — and we laugh our asses off at those old stories. When we think back about getting hit, none of us feel we were abused, and we definitely don’t think our parents were evil troglodytes who belonged in a jail cell either. They were the people who loved us enough to care for us, protect us, and discipline our little behinds today, so law enforcement wasn’t doing that job for them tomorrow.
Trying to paint Peterson as an abusive monster akin to Rice is a terrible equivalency. Trying to frame whooping a child as the behavior of the morally inept is a horrific leap in logic that will offend and anger many adults. Whenever the topic of spanking a child comes up, there’s always a crowd of indignant folks standing on the moral high ground of self-perceived perfect parenthood, who point their sanctimonious fingers at everyone saying “there’s NEVER a reason to beat a child!” This causes the other side to stubbornly dig in, because they will be DAMNED if anyone paints them as a bad parent when they believe they are disciplining their children to make them better people. And this is how some people actually view the Peterson situation. The more he sits on the bench and gets demonized, the more he becomes a VICTIM in people’s eyes. When many of us look at him, we don’t just see a strong, aggressive man, we see our parents, our grandparents, and even ourselves. And many of us are unwilling to paint ourselves and our loved ones as villainous child abusers.
But no matter how much we love our parents, the reality is that child abuse DOES exist. There are children who are not being lovingly spanked, but rather beaten down physically, mentally, and emotionally. But even though the photos of what Peterson did to his son are disturbing and many people who beat their children will concede that he went too far, there’s still a huge cultural difference in how people see that child’s wounded body. The “never raise your hand to a child” crowd believes that this is proof why parents should avoid spanking/beating their kid at all costs, while the “pro-whooping” crowd sees this as an example of going too-far, yet still not enough to discontinue hitting their child.
This issue cannot be intellectualized because it’s deeper than statistics, studies, and shaming think pieces written by men and women far from our individual cultures. Trying to make Peterson a monster who must sit out an entire month before a verdict, and more games on top of that is NOT a PR home run. He is NOT Ray Rice, he is NOT Greg Hardy, and he is NOT Ray McDonald. He is a father who loves his children, who unfortunately exercised terrible judgement when punishing his boy. I’ve never been a fan of therapy as discipline, but I truly believe that is exactly what Peterson, and many other parents, need. A look into the real effectiveness of beating, and an analysis of how situations can be handled by sparing the rod. Peterson does NOT need to burn for his sins, but we can make damn sure he’s contrite and he changes his outlook on discipline for the sake of all his current and future kids.
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Lincoln Anthony Blades blogs daily on his site ThisIsYourConscience.com, he’s an author of the book “You’re Not A Victim, You’re A Volunteer” and a weekly contributor for UPTOWN Magazine. He can be reached via Twitter @lincolnablades and on Facebook at This Is Your Conscience.