Last week, G.R.L. group member and former “X-Factor” contestant, singer Simone Battle committed suicide by hanging herself in the closet of her Los Angeles home. She was just 25 years old. Here’s the thing about depression, specifically Black women and depression … We do not address it. We do not discuss it. We sweep it under the rug. We claim, “She’s just trying to get attention.” Or, we truly believe it can just be prayed away.
I believe in God and know that prayer can help us through all of our tough times, but I also know that if depression could solely be cured by prayer alone, then there would be millions of people still alive today. We need to talk about it and write about it, and encourage even more dialogue about it, in order to save our lives.
Depression hurts. Emotionally it can take you from manic highs to severe and dangerous lows. Depression also takes a physical toll on your body, causing you to feel actual physical pain and distress, making it hard to get out of bed and function in everyday life. Depression runs in my family, and not once was it addressed or spoken about. During my childhood a lost a family member to suicide. I had no idea the pain, emotional lows, and constant worry I felt was actually depression until I was in my mid-twenties. I struggled with depression since childhood and literally had no idea what to do with those feelings, and channeled it into anger, or just severe sadness and isolation. I spent a lot of time in my room, and only felt happy if I were participating in something creative. As soon as a girl said she did not like me, picked on me, or any little trigger happened in my life, the depression came back even harder. Every single time.
Sometimes, I would sit in church and wonder why everyone else felt so happy, so moved and inspired, while I still felt sad or alone. How can I have parents who love me, siblings, grandmothers, and a few friends, but still feel so alone. Why am I constantly praying that these feelings go away, and yet they would undoubtedly return? Hiding it became easy for me to do. Smiling at work, going on auditions and entering the room as a bubbly and happy girl, and listening to everyone else’s woes, as I hid mine. Thankfully I was able to get help through therapy, and also understand and gain the ability to recognize the signs of my depression. So, how then do you know if the feelings, pain, or emotions you are experiencing are depression?
The major types of depression are: Major/Clinical, Chronic, Bipolar/Manic, Seasonal, and Postpartum. The most common form is Major/Clinical Depressive Disorder, which is characterized by the following:
- Prevention of the ability to function in everyday life.
- Depressed mood and loss of interest.
- The symptoms are not all related to the use of substances i.e. medication and drug usage.
- Physical debilitation that prevents functioning in everyday tasks of life.
- Feelings of isolation, guilt, worthlessness, and thoughts of suicide.
Chronic Depression lasts for more than two years and does not physically disable a person as Major/Clinical Depression will. Seasonal Depression is based on the seasons of the year and location you live in. Often in cities where the weather is often rainy, dark, or cloudy, as in Seattle, this type of depression will occur. Postpartum depression is directly correlated to giving birth and the emotions that are carried after the child has entered the world. The signs of this depression usually occur within the first month, and one in 10 women will be affected. (Bipolar Disorder can also cause depression). If you suspect that you, a friend, or family member may be experiencing depression-like symptoms you and they should immediately seek medical help.
According to the National Association of Mental Illness (NAMI) Black women experience depression symptoms with a greater severity and persistence. Only 12 percent of us will seek help or treatment for these issues. Culturally, Black women are seen as such strong and/or angry individuals who do not need the same type of help that a white or so-called “weaker” woman would need, but we all know this type of thinking is wrong. Yes, Black women are strong and have shouldered the weight of many different issues and societal pressures, but it is also the need to want to keep this portrayal alive, that can lead to depression. It is OK to be vulnerable and feel weak, but most times we are not allowed to be. If not defending ourselves against ignorant stereotypes, some of us are working more than one job, putting ourselves through school, raising children, etc. But no matter what, and no matter how strong we are … we all need help. Talking to our friends and family members about depression can be difficult and at times scary. Depression and thoughts of suicide are not easily discussed in our community.
Last month, when actor and comedian Robin Williams committed suicide there was a huge outpouring of not just sympathy, but also a huge awareness of depression and suicide. Let’s make this a reaction to deaths of suicide in our community as well. Simone Battle was just 25, beautiful, talented, and severely depressed. Our strength is what fuels us and what we can use to save us.
If you or someone you know needs help please call the Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255.
[Image: Shutterstock]