I taught a workshop recently where one of the participants, on the cusp of her 30th birthday, believed she would never find love. She had been hurt and so she decided that men could not be trusted.
“All men,” I asked.
“Well, most,” she replied.
She didn’t really want to believe this theory of hers and I could see how it was causing her to suffer.
As the workshop progressed, we talked about our own unique geniuses, life, love, business, etc. Slowly, the woman’s heart began to soften and she dared to acknowledge that she really was hopeful about finding love again. As we closed, I challenged her and everyone else present, not to take everything so personally. I explained that as a mother of a 19 year old son, I encourage him to use his 20s to meet people, date, and get to know himself better in and out of relationships. I tell him to be honest of course, but my feeling is that young people should use this precious period in their lives to learn, grow, develop skills, travel, get to know themselves, and be free to explore what relationships are all about. I told the beautiful woman in the workshop, that she was now at the age where she would meet guys who are now ready for a more serious commitment and that now was the time to be brave and open her heart instead of becoming hard and fearful.
Several people can be in the same place, at the same time, witnessing the same event, movie, conversation, whatever it is…and all have a completely different perspective. Some may feel nothing, while others may have a dramatic, moving experience. If you want to experience the world differently, you have to dare to change the lens of your glass and see the world with different eyes. You have to be willing to challenge your own beliefs and what you call your “truth”.
Our truth feels real, because for us at that time, it is. We have personal experiences, cultures, parents, beliefs, and emotions… all of which inform and guide us. However, to love and connect with each other, we must be willing to check our egos, accept differences of opinion, and stop taking everything so personally. Sometimes “it’s you”, but sometimes it really isn’t.
Remember, you are amazing!
Wendy is an entertainment attorney and founder of the Executive and Spiritual Life Coaching Company, Spanda Coaching – Follow her on twitter at IamWendyCredle or contact her at www.spandacoaching.com
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