Friends are often in our lives, (as the saying goes) for a reason, a season and if we’re lucky enough, for a lifetime. They are our biggest supporters, our confidants, and in some cases they become like our family. But there are times when our friendships take nosedives and become one-sided, causing the give and take to no longer exist and our best interest to no longer be of any significance. It might be time to cut that friend loose. So rather than deal with someone posing as a friend, here are a few tell-tale signs your friend is not your friend after all.
They’re always competing with you:
Having a friend who constantly plays the one up game can be very difficult to deal with—there’s never-ending competition for the smallest things. You buy a new car, your friend goes out and buys a faster, shinier, more expensive car. You buy a new couch; your friend all of a sudden decides they want to do a complete living room overhaul. Granted, in life you’ll be forced into competitive situations (like getting job promotions and getting an offer accepted on a home) but having a friend constantly wanting to one up you on everything can be draining. This type of friend is no true friend.
They gossip about everybody to you:
Frivolous banter and gossip amongst friends can sometimes be considered standard entertaining, run-of-the-mill talk. But, what if the only conversations you ever have with your friend are always consumed by them telling you about somebody else’s private business? Or what if all you ever hear is something negative about your mutual friends? Wake-up! Chances are they’re discussing you and your private matters in the same manner to others. You can never fully trust someone who has nothing but negative things to say about everyone else.
They let you pay for everything:
Ever find yourself out with your friend and they never, NEVER have any money and you’re always picking up the tab? If this sort of thing happens on every occasion you guys hang out, chances are your buddy is using you. And news flash – they’re not really your friend. Like in any relationship, friendships should be 50-50, so if your purse strings are constantly being pulled by this moocher-type, you might want to cut the strings altogether.
They constantly throw their success in your face:
Your friend just secured the biggest account of their lives, taking their salary well into the 6-figure range. You are thrilled for your homie and want to celebrate their success over a few drinks. But as you toast to the big news, s/he immediately fires back with snide remarks about your low paying job. Not cool! So what you’re not at their level lifestyle-wise? No true friend would ever make make you feel inferior. Let her/him go.
They’re never happy about your accomplishments:
If you find yourself texting to share your accomplishments, milestones, and good news with a buddy and their response is always, “Oh Ok.” –that my friend, is no friend at all. When exciting things happen, you should be able to share your good fortune with those closest to you. And if that’s not the case, and your excitement is always met with apathy, it’s time to transition that friend into the associate category.
It’s always about them:
When things get rough in life, it’s always nice to have a confidante waiting in the wings, to lean on and vent to about your problems from time to time. You know, the friend who encourages you to stay positive, and always looks on the bright side of things. What you don’t need is a person who consistently turns your time of need into his or her own therapy session. That’s not fair. As friends you should be able to be there for each other, so if they can’t seem to pull it together in your time of need, it’s time to dish out walking papers.