This past weekend I had the honor and pleasure of going to Len Burnett’s 50th birthday party. Len and I have been the best of friends since our days in college together at the University of Michigan. Len gave a beautiful, philosophical speech about his life, his family, and his friends. One of the things he said, that many of us have heard before, but is so true and deserves repeating was, “You don’t get to choose your family, but you do get to choose your friends”. Because Len has such a kind, generous, and loving spirit the room had great energy and so many of us have known and grown together for so many years, that it felt like being in a room full of extended family.
However, for many people, friendship doesn’t feel like this…and so I wanted to share this message:
Imagine, you just got home from dinner with a friend and you feel exhausted. Now that you think about it, every time you’re around this person you find yourself feeling drained and agitated. Finally you realize this and you say to yourself, ”I don’t enjoy hanging out with this person. Why do I keep doing this?” … It could be that they complain all the time. They have a negative outlook on life. They’re mean or rude to other people. There may be a sense of competition or one-upping going on. Whatever it is, it doesn’t feel good.
The truth is that we are all on a spiritual path and some of us are, shall I dare say, “further along” than others. We are all made of energy. We all have auras and vibrate on different energy frequencies depending on our individual levels of consciousness or awareness. The awareness I am referring to is an awareness of our own divinity. We are all divine – it’s just that some of us walk around more aware or conscious of our own divine selves a little bit more than others.
So what happens? As you evolve, it becomes harder and harder to play with other divine beings who live their lives meddling in the stuff that happens on the lower frequencies. It can actually become physically and emotionally painful hence, your suffering at the end of the evening.
Eckharte Tolle advises us to create “enlightened collections” of friends within our inner circle. Unlike our families, we get to choose our friends. When you choose friends who support you and care about you, you feel good. You feel energized, loved, and inspired. You relate to each other in a way that is beyond your financial status, your job title, your race or your religion. You relate instead to the goodness in each other. You’re both on the same divine frequency and there is a knowing. That is friendship.
True friendship emanates from a sense of connectedness and a sincere wish for each other’s wellbeing, peace and joy. Go through your inventory of friends and choose your “enlightened collections” who encourage you and support you to keep within your inner circle.
Wendy is an Executive Coach and founder of the entertainment and divorce law firm Credle & Associates, PLLC. Follow her on twitter at IamWendyCredle