Courtesy of The Frisky
“Grooms get in free!”
That’s the generous offer from Austin Monthly, my local glossy society rag, for its “Couture, Cakes and Cufflinks,” uh, “Bridal Bash.” There’s nothing particularly unusual about this kind of shill party, and that’s what makes it particularly offensive. It’s every disgusting wedding narrative rolled into one day-long event that women are actually expected to pay to attend.
There’s so much to hate about mainstream wedding culture — the consumerism, the gender policing, the fucking consumerism, the body-shaming, did I mention the consumerism? — but perhaps the wedding-related narrative that pisses me off more than any other is the idea that men are incapable of being interested in weddings and must be coddled and babied so that their delicate wedding-hating sensibilities are not offended.
Apparently the men of Austin are so addled by the idea of marriage that they need a separate “Cufflink Lounge,” where they can “relax, play pool and more,” away from all that awful gross icky nasty wedding things ewwwwwww! I presume there are Axe-scented smelling salts at the ready in case some guy sees a slice of white cake and faints.
Everyone knows that men can only be manipulated and cajoled into marriage at length by nagging harpy bitches, as this is one of the patriarchy’s most enduring and successful narratives used to keep women from getting too uppity. Patriarchy tells women they’re only valuable when men find them attractive. Patriarchy tells men they’re valuable when they score the big home run or nail down that account or or scratch their balls. So when men deign to wed, they’re doing women a huge favor.
This is a game women cannot win. We get mocked and shamed for being anxious to find a husband and mocked and shamed for being excited about wedding-related things, which are apparently so fundamentally embarrassing that men can’t even be expected to participate beyond grudgingly showing up, and only then if there’s sports and beer. On the other hand, women also get mocked and shamed for staying single (so pathetic!) or not committing to a man, in which case they are lonely sluts.
Continue reading at The Frisky
[Bride and groom image via Shutterstock]