When finding a mate, men and women generally have a checklist that a potential lover has to meet. For some that standard can be mostly superficial, being more concerned with physical appearance or financial appeal, while some care more about how that person may treat others and themselves. It is common for people to set unrealistic expectations for potential partners that lessen their chances of finding Mr. or Ms. Right, when they are doing nothing internally to attract who they want externally.
At times, the man who wants a woman with a supermodel body, a healthy sexual appetite, and the personality of a Queen doesn’t lead an active lifestyle and may overcompensate for his lack of personality through materialism, which is the opposite of the woman he wants to attract (and a smart woman will ultimately see through that). Equally there are times when the woman who wants the kind, handsome, educated man, who drives a Bentley and wants to take care of her, is not even willing to rise above her present standards to demonstrate the cleanliness, organization, and self-propelled independence she seeks in someone else. This lack of self-reflection can lead to missed opportunities.
For example, when a shallow woman notices a man at her job who may dress well and is articulate and they begin to show mutual interest in one another, she may see him leaving work in an outdated car and immediately assume that he is below her standards. She does this only to later find that was only one of his cars that he parks in his two-car garage in an affluent neighborhood, overlooking the fact that she herself drove in a 10-year-old car and is miserably existing with a roommate in a middle-class neighborhood. Had she placed more value in the non-material qualities, she would have been privy to the material aspect that was beneath the surface. This man accepted her as she was, although he knew what what type of car she drove and didn’t let that get in the way of pursuing a relationship with her. He valued the internal before looking into the external because he knew what he wanted. Also, since she wasn’t ready for him, she created the conflict that deterred their relationship from progressing.
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Some men (and women) go to clubs and bars in order to find potential mates and are disappointed when their catch is ultimately not who they portrayed themselves to be on the other side of the martini. Bars and clubs are places of fun and entertainment and are ideal for dates once you’ve found your mate, but not actually where you should look for a mate. Frequenting places of substance and taking part in activities that are in accordance with your interests (local volunteer centers, religious gatherings, concerts, bookstores, etc.) will be more beneficial to your search, than a place whose attributes you wouldn’t want to define your self or relationship.
The place in which you choose to search for a mate does matter, but a more realistic approach to attracting an ideal significant other is to practice the qualities of that which you seek. No one is perfect and yet so many ask for others to fulfill an unrealistic image of perfection that they themselves do not fulfill.
If you are looking for a financially adept, physically-fit potential provider for your future family, then you should become more versed in financial planning and get a gym membership. If you are looking for someone who is patient, generous, family-oriented, and is accepting of your faults and quirks, then the best place to start is by demonstrating those attributes in your relationships with friends and family.
By doing this and utilizing the law of attraction the mate you seek will find his or her way to you. If you find yourself continuously attracting a certain type of person do something differently and you will find yourself surrounded by a new type of people and variety of personalities. While your friends don’t completely dictate who you are as a person, the way that you treat one another does reflect on who you are as a person. That treatment will in turn dictate that which you attract to yourself by way of new friends and potential mates.
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