What’s that? You think I’m a slut? Oh, okay I thought you were insulting me, because calling me a “slut” does not in any way make me feel bad about my choices in life. Women and girls have been called sluts for centuries, and mainly by other women. Slut and all of its variations: whore, tramp, and ho, just to name a few, is the go to reference when putting a woman or girl down for her behavior, clothes, or attitude. In the eighth grade there were a group of girls who hated me and started rumors about me being a slut. The same thing happened in high school from a group of girls who decided they hated me as well. Slut-shaming is bullying behavior that we have all either been on the receiving end of, or dished out.
So what constitutes “slutty behavior”? Sleeping with multiple partners, sleeping with a married man, being a prostitute or stripper, making a sex tape, or just being overtly sexual? During the 1920s, the era of the flapper was born and women rebelled against the rules of society in which they had to completely cover themselves, have long flowing hair, ample busts, and not display their sexual prowess in public. Flappers cut their hair, drank in public, partied, wore short skirts, and used their sexual wilds in any way they chose. They were often referred to as sluts. In 1957, the FDA approved the birth control pill, but not for contraceptive use. The pill was approved only for severe menstrual issues, and was used secretly as a contraceptive up until the ’70s, and those women who used the medication were often referred to as sluts.
Why are all strippers considered sluts? When you’re at a bar or club with your friends and see a woman dancing provocatively or wearing a tight short dress, why is she automatically put in the slut zone? How does one end up in the “slut zone” anyway? I’ve been put in there by mean girls, and I’ve put women there by judging their behavior or how many people they’ve dated. Let’s take a look at how some other women landed in the slut zone, shall we:
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1) Any woman on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter with provocative pics — she resides in the slut zone.
2) Kim Kardashian made a sex tape with her then-boyfriend Ray J and leveraged it into a successful career of literally doing nothing but being herself, has dated a few men before settling down, and she lives in the slut zone.
3) Marilyn Monroe used not only her talent, but also her insane figure and inherent sex appeal to become a star, and again dated and married a few men along the way — she is in the slut zone.
4) Gabrielle Union dated baller Dwyane Wade soon after his divorce and continuously for the past seven years, which culminated in their engagement — she lives in the slut zone too.
5) Rihanna dresses provocatively, and sings about sex and partying — banished to the slut zone.
6) Madonna made a career from shocking us all with her overtly sexual behavior, which has been emulated by pop starts such as Britney, Miley, Rihanna, etc. — again, all of them reside in the slut zone.
7) That woman at church who is single and wears tight dresses with four-inch high heels every Sunday in church — yup, she also lives in the slut zone.
8) Alicia Keys “stole” Swizz Beatz from his wife, married him, and bore him a son, but, you guessed it — she hails from the slut zone as well.
9) Those girls at the mall, walking around in short-shorts, mini-skirts and crop tops — they always reside in the slut zone.
10) The young girl or teen who everyone at school hates, or who is really pretty and all of the boys like, or had a child at a young age — she stays in the slut zone.
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Slut-shaming is not only immature and insecure behavior, but it is literally putting a woman down for being a woman. When women report being raped they are almost always asked had they been drinking, what they were wearing, or if they provoked their attacker. I recently watched an episode of “Dr. Phil,” and there was an 11-year-old girl who had been impregnated by her 13-year-old boyfriend. Yes, that was the topic of the show. During the episode this child (the girl) was vilified by her mom, dad, the boy’s parents, and by Dr. Phil. They literally spent the entire hour of the show slut-shaming her and saying that what happened was her fault because she was so “aggressive with boys” and “peer pressured” him into having sex with her. Really? An 11-year-old child peer pressured her 13-year-old boyfriend into having sex with her, is overly aggressive, out of control, and caused herself to become pregnant? That’s right, it’s all her fault … her and her slutty ways.
Now I know when we see Kim, Miley and Rihanna parading around half-naked and with a different boy on display every few months or so, our natural inclination is to judge them, or see their behavior as … well … slutty. In my twenties I had a lot of fun, like, a lot of fun. I partied a lot, went out with my friends wearing the shortest skirts and highest heels, met guys, dated some, made out with a few, and, gasp, even slept with some. Here’s the thing, my behavior was not followed by TMZ and “Access Hollywood.” There weren’t any cover shots of me in my low-cut top and favorite black mini-skirt on US Weekly, and no entertainment “reporters” counting the amount of dates I’d gone on, boyfriends I had, or bad break-ups. I’m guessing that was the case for you too. How many of us would be considered sluts and shamed by the media if our history were on public display?
The slut-shaming of women in the media is constantly perpetuated by those that buy into it. I have uttered many a words about Kim Kardashian and her “slutty” ways, and have judged other women as well. When we are fed societal rules about what constitutes good and bad behavior we force those rules upon others, mainly out of our own insecurities or jealousy. Can we please put an end to this and stop judging each other based on our outfits, Instagram pics, or number of boyfriends? Unless someone’s behavior is causing them actual physical or mental harm, then let’s keep our opinions and women bashing aka slut-shaming views to ourselves. No, I take that back let us all just eradicate them from our psyche and focus on more important things.
Cassia Jones blogs weekly on her site akwardgirlinthecity.blogspot.com and is a weekly contributor to UPTOWNMagazine.com. She can be found via Twitter @AwkwardGirlLA
[Image: Shutterstock]