“I need a real man who knows how to HANDLE me!”
I’ve heard women utter this phrase in private and public conversations, add it to their Facebook timeline and online dating pages, and even say it directly to potential suitors. And I’m not just talking about the type of ratchet-chick who might drop down and get her eagle on at a wake if her jam comes on, but all types of women from all walks of life. For some reason, many women think it’s perfectly cool to state that they need a man who can “handle” them, yet they get confused why grown men don’t even want to try.
Well ladies, let me make it as clear as possible from a male perspective: A grown man won’t even attempt to handle you and it’s not because he’s weak or insecure, but because he knows a grown woman should realize it’s her duty to handle herself. When a man hears a woman use the word “handle,” it immediately comes off to him as if she is acutely aware of her shortcomings, yet chooses to revel in them as opposed to working on them. Any man of real substance will take that comment as being completely unfair because he knows his ass couldn’t say any crap like that without receiving major backlash.
Think about it ladies, how would you feel if a man said, “I need a real woman who knows how to put up with my BULLSHIT!”? Chances are you would run in the other direction while simultaneously wondering what in the hell was preventing him from fixing his own bullshit, so neither of you had to “put up with it.”
And that’s exactly what men think when they hear women talk about “being handled.” Ladies, if you know better, then there’s no excuse not to do better.
LAB
Lincoln Anthony Blades blogs daily on his site ThisIsYourConscience.com, he’s an author of the book “You’re Not A Victim, You’re A Volunteer” and a weekly contributor for UPTOWN Magazine. He can be reached via Twitter @lincolnablades and on Facebook at This Is Your Conscience.
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