I have a very close homegirl who always feels the need to come to me with her relationship issues, but since we’re friends I typically don’t mind helping her out as much as I humanly can. Well, last weekend she told me about an awkward-ass situation she had with the new dude she’s been seeing. Apparently they have been dating for a few months and are now officially in a committed relationship. Their chemistry is ridiculous, the sex is squirtastic, and they can stay up all damn night talking about deep and/or ridiculous topics ad nauseam.
Well, one night after a long, deep conversation, she decided to end the conversation by saying, “Goodnight baby. I LOVE you.”
To which he replied, “Aw, that’s so sweet, love. Goodnight.”
That dial tone hit her eardrum like a spinning back-fist from Anderson Silva. She was officially rocked and didn’t know how to respond. So she called me and said that she was going to break up with her man. She said she felt disrespected and taken for granted because he didn’t return her loving sentiment with his own declaration of undying love for her. Before saying how STUPID she was being, I simply e-mailed her the link to a YouTube video and told her to watch it while we were on the phone.
[Image: Shutterstock]
And here’s the video:
Look, I more than understand how easy it is to get so hype off of great early chemistry that you begin to project a lifetime of happiness with that person. (YES, men do this too) It is human nature to get excited in the early stages of dating to the point where you get happy as hell at the prospect of what you may become. But what we need to understand is that when we eventually decide to invest our heart into someone we care about, there’s a chance that they may not feel the same right now – or possibly ever. And that doesn’t make him/her a jerk, as long as he/she communicates that to you and doesn’t lead you on.
Far too often people become infatuated with other people fast as hell, and then they get mad that the other person didn’t fall for them equally as quick. You also have people in relationships that fall in love faster than the person they’re dating, and they start wanting to trade “I love yous,” and they’ll actually get mad because their partner won’t say it back. As much as my homegirl believes he did her dirty by NOT saying “I love you,” he actually did her a favor because he didn’t LIE to her and profess false-love. And who knows, he might just fall in love with her eventually.
LAB
Lincoln Anthony Blades blogs daily on his site ThisIsYourConscience.com, he’s an author of the book “You’re Not A Victim, You’re A Volunteer” and a weekly contributor for UPTOWN Magazine. He can be reached via Twitter @lincolnablades and on Facebook at This Is Your Conscience.
