Courtesy of The Frisky
I hate getting dumped. But I hate doing the dumping even more. I’ll take a breakup text any day of the week over having to send one. Not that I would EVER dump someone via text, even though I’ve been dumped that way. LAME. But I digress. I know how to deal with getting dumped. I have a lot of … experience, shall we say, as dumpee. Getting dumped is a piece of cake! You get angry. You get sad. You mutter expletives to yourself on the subway, listen to The Smiths non-stop for a week and think about how you really didn’t like the way he kissed anyway. Then you move on. Being the dumper is way, way trickier though. Why? Because it challenges your view of yourself as a good person. For a moment, you are forced be the asshole breaking someone’s heart. No way around it. it sucks. The guilt, the avoidance of that “asshole” feeling, has led me to perform some heinous dumpings. But I’ve learned from my mistakes. After the jump, some tips about how to end a relationship while remaining a decent human being.
1. Real men and women do it face to face. I alluded to some of my heinous dumpings above. Let me be more specific. I once hid in the laundry room of my dorm for three days to avoid having the “I don’t want to be with you anymore” conversation with my high school boyfriend. I HID! I camped out in a laundry room! I am ashamed of this. But there, I admitted it. I feel liberated. Since then, my courage balls, as I like to call them, have grown quite a bit and I’ve learned that you have to face the music when ending a relationship. The bravest thing you can do when performing a dumping is sit face to face with the human being whose heart you are demolishing and have the guts to tell them that things aren’t working. In my experience, being dumped in this fashion makes the relationship easier to get over because he isn’t left wondering where you went for three days and why you returned covered in lint. If you care or cared for someone, respect them enough to look them in the eye and tell them you don’t want to have a long distance relationship at age 17.